MY 2 CENTS ON LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS / HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Let’s assume it’s February 14th and I’m publishing this as a Valentine’s Day gift to you. I have put down my thoughts on love & relationships for you to read, Learn and enjoy! They are unique, interesting and mostly reasonable.
“These days, I find myself thinking a lot about being single and feeling the loneliness that comes with it. But I will not settle. I hope I never have to settle.”
Love is that peaceful, unexplainable way you feel about your pet, your parents, your best friends, your girlfriend/boyfriend, wifey/husband or even just the feeling of frozen ice cream with the most amazing toppings or any other food that tickles your fancy in your mouth. (PS. You might only feel this kinda love when you can associate the tastiness of the food with someone you at least like, lol 😊)
Relationships are what happens when we love someone (or assume we do) and conclude that there’s a need to hold possession, to have this person we love to ourselves. Close friends, best friends, boyfriends & girlfriends, fiancés & fiancées, married men and women are all a form of relationships, except the labels are different, of course, and the terms of service may differ too as the partners deem fit. Sometimes, love is not a basis in relationships: it is just two people with a connection or attraction who are both willing to explore whatever it is they have.
Personally, I love love and could even be called a sucker for beautiful friendships and relationships however they might come, romantic and unromantic. I have a few beautiful friendships and relationships that I hold in high esteem and I hope whatever we have only gets better and stronger, but that’s really just it for now. At some point, I hope to fall in love and be in love with a beautiful girl who is nice, smart and a lot of things in one person. I hope however I feel about her is how she feels about me and maybe even more. I hope the universe’s blessings are with us too. (Told ya I was a sucker.)
I mean, why would anyone want to miss out on having someone who you really love and they love you right back? A best friend, a gist buddy, someone you can always talk and rant to and you wouldn’t ever feel like you’re overstaying your welcome? Someone that spams you with both their best and silliest pictures, someone you can both go on beautiful dates and afterwards reminisce the experience together. In the case of boyfriends and girlfriends, someone you could always kiss and be as sexual as you both want and it really doesn’t feel like fornication (but you are actually fornicating and sinning 😐). All This is truly a lot, but so much more, if we’re being honest.
Many people these days get into relationships at the wrong time or under the wrong circumstances and they set themselves up for hurt and heartbreak and eventually are heartbroken. In order for them to feel strong and better, they set out to be heartbreakers themselves. Overtime, we have clueless people in relationships and the cycle goes on and on and on. For relationships to be what they ought to be, there has to be a shit ton of common ground, compromise, love, trust, friendship and probably what would be termed as the “X-factor”.
Let me quickly add — as to every other thing about life, love & relationships are never entirely seamless. Shit will get fucked up, messy, mistakes will happen, but lessons will be learnt and you’ll do better in your next. Thinking about it right now flashes me back to what my friend said some time ago: “I need to hoe for character development.” As much as it may appear as the most unreasonable set of thoughts, I see reason with her to some extent. Love is far from a fairytale these days; not sure it ever has been. Your first love is most likely not going to be your last, you’ll make mistakes, they’ll break your hearts, if you’re a baddie you’d break some too and in all of that you’ll realize what is truly important, and if you’re lucky you will find what you want eventually. PS, I’m no advocate for hoeing. 😐
You can never fully prepare for relationships. You could do everything humanly possible, from taking it slow, to growing connections, being genuine and true to your feelings, and things would still go south. In times like this, you sit back, eat large bowls of your favorite ice cream, cry if you need to, spend time with friends and family and genuinely enjoy your own company. Know it’s not the end of the world and there’s a love waiting for you somewhere, however it will come, and you will be content with it.
The absolute worst thing anyone could do after a break up is to seek for rebounds or new relationships immediately after. Mostly, they never work out as you expect, then it’s back to square one. This new relationship grants you temporary happiness or a few other times they are all you have been hoping for. It’s like failing at something: you take out time to evaluate the situation, unlearn, learn and improve your person. I would say after a break up is the time to enjoy yourself by yourself, to do things for yourself, to love yourself the way you expect to be loved by him or her and feel whole again.
And you do not need to become bitter or hate your exes. It’s quite unnecessary, you’re too beautiful and sweet to make anyone steal your shine like that! It’s okay if you delete their number, stop being friends with them or just simply avoid them. I don’t even subscribe to friendship after break ups, but at the end of the day it depends on you and whatever you can handle.
Finding Love & being in Love is different for many people, but I believe for me, it’ll just happen. Mostly, I’m not sure what to do, so I’m hoping it figures itself out. So, if you’re like me, sit back, relax, and while you relax, grow and better yourself, be the kind of love you hope for and wait for the universe to do her thing! Love in the purest form is simple, honest, beautiful and genuine and if anyone was ever to be in love, its only right they set out for this kind of love.
Finally, love, relationships or even love, and then relationships may not be for everyone. Some people are in love, but the idea of exclusivity of relationships is not for them. Some want the relationships but they don’t really feel the love. Some could care less about the two, and honestly, every of the class above is alright. Know your place and find your kind. There are over 7 billion people in the world, you’ll always find your kind.
“From the time when I started to write this piece (sometime in January) to now (a day in March) a lot has changed. I was so certain I could not settle, but I don’t feel that way right now. A few weeks back, I was even going to get into a relationship based off an impulse but somehow, someway, it did not happen. I am not sure why I am adding this information, but I guess in all you do, especially in the affairs of love and relationships, prioritize your happiness whilst being conscious of the other person’s feelings.”
What did you do on Valentine’s Day? I spent the day preparing for my exams that officially started on the 15th, and I drooled on people’s relationship whenever I had the opportunity. Single life is honestly hard these days, but we move!!
Thank you for reading as always. Please make sure you comment what you think, clap if you enjoyed it and kindly share for more people to read and enjoy. 😊
Lots of LOVE ❤,
AbdulRoheem.
