WHAT GENUINELY LOVING SOMEONE MEANS…..
Loving someone is probably the most selfish/self-absorbed thing a human will ever do. Let me reiterate: Genuinely loving someone is probably the most selfish/self-absorbed thing you would ever do.
I was in a car on a Sunday, running errands for my parents, and in that moment, I was thinking about someone I really liked and I came up with that first paragraph, so yeah😊. I really think this makes sense, so give me a chance to present my idea.
I’ll buttress my point with a scenario:
Let’s assume I have a girlfriend and it’s her birthday, Valentine’s Day, our anniversary or any other day worth celebrating. Let’s actually keep it to her birthday, so technically I’m the one doing the spending and spoiling, and all she has to do is enjoy herself. For every penny I spend or trouble I go through to make things happen for her, it’s irrelevant, especially if I get things right, she appreciates whatever it is I do AND she’s happy. I become happy because she’s happy. So, it’s like I spend all the money in the world and go through all the troubles imaginable just to make myself happy. My happiness comes from the fact that I love her and because of that, I choose to show up for her and do things for her. Given that I “genuinely” love her, everything that concerns her become my concerns too. Genuine thank you’s and beautiful smiles on her face will make me the happiest. I could even say that her happiness will make me happier than she is because I love her.
I shared this idea with my friend, and she had a different but interesting view on the topic. She said it reminded her of a piece by spoken word poet, Miles Carter, titled Everything You Are:
“1. The difference between something you want
And Something you love
Can be illustrated by how you treat a flower
When you want something
You take it for yourself
2. And that flower then exists as an extension of you
Its beauty measured by how beautiful you’ll allow it to be
We often feel the need to have possession
Over the things we love
3. But when you love something
You discover an appreciation for everything it is
Knowing something so beautiful, so vast
Could never belong to only you
4. Seeing its light and knowing it would be selfish
To hold it hostage from the world
I pity those who have not gotten the chance to experience you”
[The poem has about four stanzas to go, but I think the parts above capture all that is necessary for this writing. Plus, I’ve got to say Miles Carter is a very talented man with an interesting look into things. You should check out his work.]
My friend concluded by saying it’s crazy how genuinely loving someone could be the most selfless and selfish thing you could do all at the same time, and I think I agree with her. Many times, when I imagine myself in a relationship, I imagine it to be a distant relationship. I believe they are the most beautiful kind of relationships — we get to live independent lives whilst staying committed to each other. Plus, distance may be a good way to test a relationship’s strength.
Finally, I think this idea of genuinely loving someone and what that translates into should cut across everything and everyone. We should root for other people like we root for ourselves and feel satisfaction in other people’s win as we would for ourselves. I’m certain even scripture says “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Whenever I am able to help people however that happens, it genuinely excites me, comforts me and I feel genuinely happy. It’s one of my life goals to be able to add value to people or help people…. Whatever it is I end up doing, I must inculcate this into it. It’s one of the ways I know I will feel fulfilled.
And here’s the second love note! I am honestly glad I am finally completing this. I truly hope it makes sense to you and you find value in it.
“Sending whoever is reading this a lot of love and light, I write for you and I.” Feel free to write back to me via comments or wherever, I will be more than glad to read and respond to them😉.
In this moment, I have this silly sore throat with a bad headache… BYEEE FOR NOW!
Lots of LOVE ❤,
AbdulRoheem.
